The One Where Strange Things Start
by Bruce and Diana Wayne
Summary: Something is wrong with Batman and Wonder Woman. WARNING: Complete insanity. There is not one serious thing in this fanfiction.


DW: Bruce and I think that there is not enough humor in the JLA/JLU section of , so I decided to write something completely crazy. Here it is.

() 

Hawkgirl turned off the TV and sat up. It could have just been her imagination, but she could have sworn she had just heard laughing...

She stood up and walked to the doorway.

"Hi Shy!" a female voice yelled from behind her.

She jumped and turned around quickly. "Diana!" Shayera exclaimed, her hand over her heart. "You scared me!"

The Amazon started giggling. "Batman!" Diana shouted suddenly.

"Batman?" Shayera wondered.

"Did somebody say my name?" A male voice sang. Soon, the Dark Knight himself stepped into the room, a silly grin on his face.

"Are you two okay?" Hawkgirl asked, backing away a little.

"Of course!" the other woman exclaimed happily. "Do you want to sing a song with us, Shy?"

"OH! We're gonna sing? Yeay!" Batman squealed.

The red-head went toward one of the doors. "I'm gonna go get John and Superman from the Monitor Womb... Don't leave this room, okay?"

() 

"Okay, Shayera, I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation behind this." Superman said as he and GL followed the woman through the halls.

"Yeah," John agreed. "Are you sure you weren't dreaming?"

"I know what I saw!" Hawkgirl yelled. "Just look!" She opened the door to the living area.

Immediately, Bruce and Diana cheered.

"Yeay!" Wonder Woman exclaimed. "Shy came back to sing a song with us!"

"Okay..." John said slowly, not believing what his eyes were telling him he was seeing.

"Diana? Batman?" Clark asked, his voice full of concern. "Are you two feeling okay?"

"Better than okay!" Diana giggled, glancing at Batman as if to signal a joke.

"We're super!" Bruce exclaimed. The two normally-serious Leaguers fell to the ground, holding their stomachs, as if it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard.

Wally came into the room, rubbing his eyes. "What's all the racket in here? I was trying to sleep..." He stopped short when he saw his friends in a giggle-fit on the floor. "Okay, what'd I miss?"

Superman muttered something about going to find J'onn and left the room.

"Oh my gosh! Look Diana!" Batman shouted, his laughing stopped.

"Wally!" She yelled, happily. "Wally wants to sing with us, too!"

"Yeay!" Gotham's protector cheered. The two stood up and started bouncing up and down.

"Now alls we need is a chicken!" Wonder Woman said.

"Yeah. And a motorcycle!" Batman agreed. "Dick has one!"

"Let's go get it!" Diana grabbed Bruce's hand and they ran out of the room.

The others were, at first, too stunned to register what was happening. After a few minutes, they all yelled at once and ran after the strange heroes.

() 

"There they are!" Hawkgirl said from her spot above Gotham City.

Because the trio had no idea who Batman really was, they had been having a hard time tracking him and Wonder Woman. Their only clue had been that they knew that the city he protected was Gotham, so whoever this 'Dick' was, he was probably there, too.

"I've got them!" Green Lantern replied, going toward the two on the motorcycle. He flew along side it. "Batman! Wonder Woman! Stop!"

Shrugging, Bruce stopped the bike. John, unfortunately, was not prepared for them to listen and continued flying... straight into a building.

"Uhg..." he groaned, getting up.

Hawkgirl landed gracefully next to them and Flash soon joined them.

"We're going home." Shayera announced forcefully, grabbing Diana and Bruce's arms roughly.

() 

"Well?" Clark asked, expectantly, watching the hyper heroes out of the corner of his eyes.

"They appear to be intoxicated." J'onn replied, shrugging.

"They're drunk?" Wally asked, amazed. "Hmm.. I wouldn't have figured Bats and the Princess to be the stupid kind of drunks..."

Suddenly, they all heard a beeping noise from somewhere on Batman's costume.

The Dark Knight lifted his hand to his ear-piece. "Go ahead, Oracle." He said in his usual growl.

Everyone blinked. Was he back to normal?

"Oh!" Diana exclaimed. "Invite Barbara and Dick!"

Batman put a gloved finger over his lips. "Oracle, Wonder Woman thinks you and Nightwing should come up here. We have something you might want to take a look at... No, I can't send it through a scanner... Just get up here!" He said roughly, closing the link.

"They coming?" Diana asked.

"Duh!" Bruce said, happily.

Shayera, John, Wally, Clark, and J'onn sighed. So much for that hope.

() 

After a few minutes, in which Bruce and Diana felt the need to sing 'Livin La Vida Loca', a young redheaded woman in a wheel chair and a young black haired man in a costume came in via the molecule transporter.

"What is it that's so important, Batman?" Nightwing asked as he and Oracle came closer.

"Hurray!" The Amazon Princess exclaimed. "Now we can have a glue party!"

"Oh good!" Batman yelled. "I'll get the glue!" And he rushed off, leaving a very stunned pair of crime-fighters and a very happy princess behind.

Nightwing and Oracle looked at the older heroes expectantly.

Green Lantern shrugged. "They've been like this all night."

"He seemed fine when he contacted me earlier." Barbara stated.

Shayera sighed. "Yes, we thought so, too."

"They're drunk." Wally stated, gesturing to where Diana was trying to climb the wall.

"Di!" Hawkgirl shouted. "You can fly!"

Wonder Woman seemed baffled at this new information, but soon recovered and was floating on the ceiling.

"What'd you tell her that for?" Flash asked. "Now she's gonna hurt herself."

"I've got it!" Bruce called as he came back into the room. He looked around. "Diana? Where are you?"

"Here!" She called, stopping flying. Batman caught her as she fell, giggling. He put he back on her feet. "Barbara, let's go find the mouse!"

"What mouse?" The redhead asked.

"_The_ mouse." Bruce replied. "Duh." He turned to Nightwing. "Shovels have handles for a reason."

Slowly, Dick nodded. "Batman, maybe you should lay down for a while..."

Bruce gasped. "We haven't even sang the song yet!"

"What song?" the ex-sidekick wondered.

"The song you used to sing all the time when you were nervous... What was it again...? Hmmm..." The masked detective pondered. "Oh yes! Barbie Girl!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about..." Dick answered, glaring at his old mentor. Barbara raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend.

"Oh, sure you do!" Batman exclaimed. He started to sing the song, but Dick cut him off with a hand over his mouth.

"Hiya!" Wonder Woman exclaimed, punching Nightwing, who landed on the other side of the room.

"Hey!" Oracle shouted, rolling over to him. He stood up and glared.

"No one suffocates Batman and gets away with it!" Batman declared. He pointed at Diana with his thumb. "She's far too protective for that."

She nodded happily. "And now it's time for a big explosion!"

"I've got the cymbals!" Bruce exclaimed, pulling out the metal discs. He hit them together.

Wonder Woman started singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' at the top of her lungs.

Soon, everyone had run from the room, covering their ears from all of the noise.

"Good night, Bruce!" Diana called over the sound.

"Good night, Diana!" he shouted back.

And, with that, they both fell asleep, curled up on the floor.

THE END


End file.
